Psychotherapy for Children - How Does it Work?
Therapy provides children with the opportunity to make sense of what is happening around them and to better adapt to their environment. Through play children can move from feeling powerless and overwhelmed to being in charge of the world they create within their play. This allows them to experience a sense of control and the fantasy element creates enough distance from their real world experience for children to be able to experiment with different ideas and ultimately adapt to what is happening around them.
Just as adults talk things through with someone else to get a broader perspective of their current circumstances, children use play to broaden their perspective and come to terms with whatever is happening or has happened to them. The therapist's role is to make this a safe experience by ensuring the child does not become too overwhelmed as they wrestle with their worries. This is why the relationship with the therapist is so critical. A child needs to trust the therapist in order to be able to let their guard down and reveal their deepest concerns through their play. In turn, a therapist must be able to read what the child needs at any given time. This might be engagement, a bit of space, silence or recognition of what they’ve just expressed through their play.
Children also need to know that the specifics of their play will only be shared with their parents when they are ready. This is not to keep parents in the dark but rather to respect a child’s timing. It’s rather like not reading what an author is writing until they are ready to reveal it. A child’s play is a work in progress, a process of coming to terms with how they are feeling rather than the end result that they wish to show to others. This can be hard for parents but I try to offset this uncertainty by keeping parents regularly updated about their child’s progress in general terms.
Who then can benefit from child psychotherapy? The answer is any child who has has become emotionally stuck and can’t seem to get beyond whatever they’re struggling with. This might be anxiety that stops them from enjoying sleepovers, going on school camp or maybe even going to school. It could be explosive anger that seems out of context with the frustrations they are facing. Or it could be seeming generally unhappy and lacking interest in anything around them. If you are concerned, it is always worth giving your child the opportunity to work this through. The earlier a child has the opportunity to work through whatever is bothering them, the quicker they, and you, can get back to enjoying life. Sometimes only three or four sessions are needed, other times it takes a little longer, but I will always give you several options. My aim is always to give just what is needed to help a child move beyond being stuck. From there they can continue to grow and develop in everyday life.