Adjusting to a new reality - helping teens
The arrival of the Delta variant of Covid-19 in the New Zealand community is requiring us all to adjust to a new reality. This is especially the case for young people who are far more at risk from this new form of the virus.
As with all significant changes it takes time to adjust. The teenagers in your household are likely to be more easily distracted, anxiously scanning their phones for updates about new sites of potential spread and for news from their friends. Getting them to focus on and complete school work may seem like an insurmountable challenge.
Teenagers need time to get used to the new situation. They also need appropriate and relevant information (even bad news is better than no news), and supportive connections with friends.
Firstly, time. It takes time to absorb the new normal, much like downloading a significant software update. In reality this means not trying to fix the scatteredness, and instead just waiting it out, knowing it will shift. Your teenager is likely to struggle to focus more than usual for the next few days. They will be easily distracted and less motivated to complete schoolwork. Give them time - we all need time to adjust to this new reality. Then check in with them and gradually increase your expectations.
The routine of completing school work will help in the long run but it needs to be balanced with an awareness of the impact of any changes that need to be adapted to, whether this is a change in alert level, an extension to lockdown or a change in family circumstances due to the lockdown requirements. Add to this the very obvious loss of in-person social contact that school provides, and it is clear that teenagers are having to adapt to a high level of change.
Ensuring your teen gets appropriate and relevant information is more difficult due to easy access to social media. Check out what they are hearing so you can help allay any fears from either misinformation or collective anxiety within their friend group. But once again, a balance needs to be achieved as ongoing contact with their friends is essential to a sense of connection and support. And as I’ve already referred to, bad news is easier to manage than the uncertainty of no news. We don’t know how to prepare for uncertainty. At least when we know what we are dealing with we can start to make plans, and by doing this create some semblance of a way forward for ourselves.
In summary, as our current situation changes, your teenager will need time to adjust, some certainty about what is going to happen, and ongoing contact with friends. They are likely to feel more scattered than usual and to struggle initially to focus on school work and normal routines. But this will ease with time and, if given some space to adapt to this new reality, the reintroduction of school work and routines will provide further certainty in an uncertain time.