How to survive till Christmas
The lead up to Christmas, the end of the school year and all the extra social, not to mention financial, pressures at this time of the year create a powerful cocktail for short fuses and increased tension in families. How can we not only survive but even enjoy this time?
The biggest issue I see is preoccupation. This is when our focus is elsewhere, in our heads, on the phone, mulling over how to fit in all the social obligations and family visits, or working out childcare arrangements as the school year comes to a close. On top of this everyone is tired and less tolerant than usual. Children respond to their parents being preoccupied with frustration, they get cranky. They often don’t feel seen and heard and begin to feel quite disconnected from their parents as well as coping less well with any challenges that come their way.
Trying to build in some focused attention is the answer to calmer and less demanding children but it’s often not easy, especially at this time because parents are tired too and very busy. Some ideas include trying to allocate one calm, non frenzied, day a week, slowing things down a bit by prioritising the necessary and the important, reducing expectations a little, of both your children and yourself, and being aware of the needs of your particular child. Some children thrive on busyness and lots of socialising while others need more downtime to recharge.
The message your children will receive is that they are important to you and in turn you will be rewarded with a calmer child who is more willing to take direction (one can always hope!) and is more willing to ask for help when needed so issues don’t escalate and you will be able to enjoy more relaxed time together.
Consciously slowing down will make life more pleasant. It also makes it easier to think clearly and make good decisions about what is really important. Remember, not all socialising has to happen before Christmas, the world will continue to spin if you don’t get to every activity, and little, less expensive gifts are often more fun for kids. But most of all, your time and attention is what will give them joy. And you too, as you see their response. Have a go - slow down, focus and enjoy. You never know, it might just work!